Proven Ways to Increase Self-Confidence in Young Adulthood
Young adulthood is an exciting and complex time. There are so many decisions to make, so many fields to navigate, and so many complications–like social media, academic pressure, fluctuating hormones, and more–that get in the way of the path forward. For many people in this age group, a big hurdle to overcome is the issue of low self-confidence.
As many as a quarter of young adults struggle with their self-confidence, and it’s no wonder why. This age, between 18 and 30, is an emotionally and physically vulnerable time. Over time, self-confidence usually begins to build–especially as young adults find success academically or in their careers. But if you, or a loved one, need some extra support in this area, there are helpful resources available to you.
Why Self-Confidence Matters in Young Adulthood
Low self-esteem is not uncommon for young adults, but it can lead to major issues if left unaddressed. During this time of life, low confidence impacts decision making and relationship building–which can, in turn, lead to a downward mental health spiral.
What may start as low self-confidence can eventually grow into anxiety, depression, and other chronic mental health challenges. That said, there is hope–no matter where you’re at in your journey. Whether you are beginning to feel the nudge of low confidence or have been in a negative space for a while, counseling can make a difference. Our specialists are here to help you change the narrative and rebuild your confidence step by step.
How to Change the Narrative
Low self-confidence can begin as early as childhood. We all receive positive and negative messages about ourselves from parents, teachers, siblings, and friends. When those messages trend towards negativity, we begin to build a negative self-narrative for ourselves. Thankfully, this narrative can be rewritten with purposeful and intentional action.
When a young adult suffers from low self-confidence, they may withdraw from social settings and keep themself from trying new things. Avoiding situations that have the potential to be difficult or uncomfortable is a self-preservation tactic, but over time, it may become harder and harder to take risks. The first step toward changing your narrative is to challenge those preservation tactics that may be holding you back. Here’s how we recommend you do that:
Break Down Your Goals and Celebrate Every Win
The key to building self-confidence is to obtain tangible proof of your capability. Anyone can do this by setting small, reasonable goals that provide the opportunity to follow through on commitments. Here are a few examples of the kinds of small goals we’re talking about:
- Making and holding eye contact for three seconds when interacting with another person.
- Sending a text message or email to an old friend.
- Write down a positive expression in your journal after thinking a negative thought.
- Pick up a new hobby and try it for 15 minutes every day.
These kinds of small goals are designed to help you avoid feeling overwhelmed and experience a sense of accomplishment. They can be tailored to target specific areas of your life where you’d like to see improvement–like physical health, mental wellness, social competence, etc.
Another key part of the setting-small-goals experiment is to celebrate your wins when they come. In fact, a Harvard study found that celebrating wins is a proven way to improve your mood and boost your self-confidence. The reward can be small, like an ice cream cone, a special treat, or a guilt-free nap. The important thing is to acknowledge and reward yourself for your efforts.
Change the Way You Talk to Yourself
We are all in conversation with ourselves all the time. When that conversation includes negative thoughts and reflections, our self-perception takes a hit. Intentional positive self-talk sounds silly, but it has a proven track record for making a big impact on self-confidence.
There are a few different ways to tackle this issue. For starters, you could keep a journal with you at all times and write positive thoughts and mantras in it whenever you have negative self-feelings. These may include:
- I can do hard things.
- I trust myself.
- I belong here.
- I am enough.
- I am worthy.
You may be drawn to different mantras during different experiences. Whatever the case, we recommend writing the positive expression ten times in a row to let it settle into your mind.
If a journal is too much trouble, you could employ this same practice in a more inward way. Simply repeat the mantra in your mind ten times. Or, mentally outline a to-do list that will help you overcome whatever obstacle is triggering the negative feelings.
Step Out of Your Comfort Zone from Time to Time
Once you’ve begun to set and reach reasonable goals and reframe your self-talk, you may be ready to try something a little higher risk. When you are feeling especially confident, we recommend finding a way to step out of your comfort zone and try something new. This will look different for different people, but can include everything from joining a book club to traveling somewhere new or attending a social event you would normally skip.
Stepping out of your comfort zone in a way that feels controlled, intentional, and doable is a great way to prepare yourself for life challenges. The more you do this, the more in control you will feel when a life event forces you into an uncomfortable position.
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