Activities for Couples Looking to Rebuild Trust in Their Relationship

Any time deceit enters a relationship–whether through infidelity, financial deception, emotional neglect, or otherwise–it takes time to rebuild the lost trust. But when both partners are willing to embrace honesty, apologize for past mistakes, and work to build a stronger foundation, there is hope for a happy and healthy future together. 

Because this journey requires time and conscious effort, you may be seeking resources to support you along the way. We’ve compiled a list of productive and enjoyable activities that we believe are beneficial for any couple looking to rebuild trust in their relationship. 

Practicing Mindfulness

The practice of mindfulness has been proven to increase empathy and understanding. When practiced together with your partner, it can help you better understand where the other person is coming from. What’s more, it will bring you both together in a vulnerable and intimate way. Over time, mindfulness helps both partners learn how to respond, rather than react, to relationship challenges.

There are many ways to practice mindfulness as a couple. You can start each mindfulness session with a five-minute meditation. Then, take turns speaking and listening to one another. You can make time to share appreciation, express hurt or regret, or repeat loving-kindness phrases like “may you be happy” or “may you accept yourself as you are.” 

Mindfulness may also take the form of gratitude journaling. When doing this activity with a partner, we recommend starting with the same prompt, taking time to write in your journal alone, and then sharing your thoughts when you are finished. 

Writing Letters

For many, writing one’s thoughts down on paper can be therapeutic. That’s because written words often afford you the time to express your feelings with time, care, and attention, something that can be harder to achieve with spoken words. 

When writing to your partner, you may find it easier to be vulnerable and open. Eventually, you may find that writing letters helped to strengthen your communication skills, resolve past conflicts, and reestablish your intimacy. 

If you and your partner would like to try letter writing in your efforts to rebuild trust, here’s what we recommend:

1. Commit to exchanging letters with your partner on a regular basis. Weekly or bi-weekly would be a great place to start.
2. Work together, perhaps along with a therapist, to create a list of writing prompts to choose from.
3. Select one or two prompts as a starting point whenever it is time to write a letter.
4. Direct your answer to your partner, being as open, honest, and positive as possible.
5. After exchanging letters, take some time to discuss in person what you wrote, read, and felt from the experience.

​​​​​​We also recommend saving the letters and turning to them whenever you’re feeling angry, sad, or discouraged. Reading the loving words your partner wrote in earnest can help you rediscover your center and build hope for the future.

Exploring Love Languages

Though the term 'love languages' has become something of a cliché, the underlying principle is meaningful: it's about recognizing and honoring the unique ways your partner experiences love. After betrayal, this line of thought may help couples rebuild trust and strengthen their intimacy. 

For this activity to be effective, both partners must commit to understanding and speaking the other’s love language. While knowing your partner’s love language doesn’t mean you must adhere to strict rules and boundaries, it can serve as a guide in rebuilding your relationship.

The five love languages are Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. As you explore these categories with your partner, you may discover things you didn’t know about yourself. Be open and honest with each other as you learn to honor your partner’s preferences as well as your own. 

Creating a Bucket List

Inserting a little fun into your trust-building process is always a good idea. Trust between partners is about confidence and safety in one another. We think it’s easier to achieve this status when you see the complete picture of the person you’re with, including their hopes and vision for the future. 

When you work together to create a relationship bucket list, you have the opportunity to:

• Spend quality time together
• Share new experiences
• Set and achieve goals together
• Lighten up and have some fun

What’s more, studies indicate that couples who travel together believe doing so keeps their relationship healthy. When creating your bucket list, make sure it’s a balanced list of things both partners would like to experience together. 

Asking for Favors

This activity may seem counterintuitive. Do you really want to add to each other’s plates at an already difficult time? Believe it or not, you do. Asking for favors is both a healthy and effective way to rebuild trust after betrayal. 

Most people in long-term relationships understand that actions speak louder than words. When you ask your partner for a favor, you allow them to show, through effort, their love for you. Of course, you should start small: ask if they’d be willing to run an errand or share their opinion on an issue you’re struggling with. Then, be willing to return the favor in kind.

Attending Therapy Together

If these kinds of activities aren’t helping to mend the broken trust in your relationship, we believe the next step should be marriage or couples counseling. A neutral, expert opinion can help to even the playing ground and may encourage you both to see from one another’s perspective. Therapy will give you a safe space to speak your mind, evaluate your options for growth, and continue to heal. 

If you and your partner are ready to speak with a qualified specialist, please give us a call. We offer free 15-minute meet and greets for all new clients, letting you know that finding a great client/counselor match is a top priority of ours. Reach us at (815) 477-4727.