Experiencing the Unexpected Death Of A Loved One

Unexpected death of a loved one is the most reported potentially traumatic experience. It may be that after a while the responses being displayed by someone suddenly bereaved are ‘normal’ grief responses common following any kind of death including expected deaths, and which don’t require any sort of specialist care to aid recovery.

For example, feelings of sadness and grief, yearning for the person who died, and crying. But, in some cases, it is not uncommon or unusual to suffer much more than this.  

Examples include:

  • Excessive irritability
  • Anger and bitterness, sometimes in sudden bouts
  • Continued insomnia and nightmares
  • Feeling of unfairness at the death or issues around the death
  • Strong feelings of personal responsibility for the death, and/or unfinished business with the person who has died
  • A sense that the world as they understood it has been shattered
  • Intrusive thoughts about the bereavement, that happen suddenly, when trying to get on with other things
  • Difficulty socializing and avoidance of social situations
  • Difficulty functioning; difficulty doing daily tasks such as finding it hard to cope with stressful moments at work or stresses when caring for children
  • Feelings of futility about the future: what is the point of it all? Disinterest in planning for the future
  • These reactions and behaviors lasting more than two months after the bereavement

People suffering from these kinds of reactions are likely to have constant and intrusive thoughts that revolve around thinking about the person who died all the time, wanting to be with them, and seeing the person who died everywhere they look.

They may have anxious, depressive or suicidal thoughts. They may suffer phobias and fears associated with the bereavement. For example, not wishing to travel by road if bereaved by a road crash.

People with such reactions may develop addictions or increase addictive behaviors they had before, such as use of alcohol, cigarettes or drugs (legal or illegal). They may suffer weight loss or weight gain. They may have on-going physical reactions such as pains, illness, or manifestations of stress such as stuttering. In these types of situations the grief process would be considered complex and traumatic.

« Back

Therapists

These are our therapists who are experienced in working with Grief.