Parent Enablement and Failure-to-Launch
Improving a parent-child relationship is not about placing blame. However, it can help to do some personal introspection when looking for ways to better support an adult child who is struggling.
Parent enablement often plays a role in failure-to-launch syndrome. That said, identifying and breaking the cycle of enablement is often very challenging, as it’s something you may not even realize you are doing.
Stopping the enablement cycle does not mean you must stop supporting your child altogether. Instead, it means you look for ways to encourage and allow your child to meet their own needs. This will look different for every family, but may require you to stop:
- Paying for car insurance, food, gasoline, etc.
- Cleaning up after your child and/or doing their laundry
- Allowing them to live at home rent-free
- Making excuses when your child fails
- Finishing work or school assignments on their behalf
As a parent, it is perfectly natural to want to be there for your child to help shoulder their burdens. But when support becomes enablement, it can begin to take a toll on the parent-child relationship and on the child’s ability to succeed on their own. Before you step in on behalf of your child, ask yourself: will this be beneficial in the long run?
You can stop the enablement cycle by setting clear expectations and boundaries. This can only happen if you and your child are able to communicate in an effective and healthy way. If you need support or a neutral third party to help facilitate this conversation, come to NPS. Our counselors can ensure that both you and your child feel seen and heard.
Therapists
These are our therapists who are experienced in working with Failure to Launch.
