How to Balance Academic Expectations with Emotional Well-Being

Wanting the best for ourselves and our loved ones is not an inherently negative thing. But when high expectations hinder our ability to appreciate everyday life, our mental health suffers. 

At NPS, we understand that finding the balance between academic success and emotional well-being can be tricky–for parents and students alike. We’re here to offer guidance, support, and strategies along the journey. 

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What Is Perfectionism and How Does It Affect Mental Health?

Academic success is often viewed as the precursor to overall life success. And while it’s true that education is an important piece of the puzzle, it’s not the only one that matters. 

Perfectionism, or the relentless pursuit of impossibly high standards, can lead to chronic stress, anxiety, depression, and more. Whether perfectionism is self-imposed or imposed by a parent or guardian, it can lead to a crippling fear of failure and the belief that self-worth is dependent on one’s academic success. 

Fortunately, perfectionism can be overcome at any stage of the journey. Recognizing that there is, in fact, a problem is the essential first step. 

How to Know if High Expectations Have Become a Problem

It’s good for students to feel challenged in the classroom. But high expectations can quickly lead to a feeling of never being good enough. You’ll know that you, or your student, have crossed the threshold into unhealthy territory when these warning signs begin to occur:

  • Trouble sleeping, stomach aches, and other physical indications of high stress
  • Constant self-criticism
  • A noticeable drop in self-confidence or an unwillingness to take on challenges
  • Irritability and/or withdrawal from family or social time
  • Crying easily or seeming overwhelmed by small tasks
  • Declining grades

Academic success is important, but when the effort to get good grades begins to affect one’s happiness or stability, it’s time for a reset. Fortunately, there are simple, straightforward ways to help you and/or your student get back on track.

Tips for Finding a Healthier Balance

Whether you are a student or the parent of one, the first step towards finding a healthier balance is to understand the pressures at play. For today’s teens and young adults, social media and a competitive atmosphere have made it even more difficult to find success at school and at home. Recognizing that these pressures exist and that the social and academic landscape is more challenging than ever before can help parents and students better manage their stress.

We also recommend:

  1. Setting Reasonable Expectations

    When the bar is set too high, failure and discouragement are the guaranteed outcome. Realistic goals, on the other hand, provide structure and make it possible to monitor progress. Over time, setting and achieving reasonable goals will lead to positive forward momentum.

    When setting academic goals, we recommend following the SMART framework, in which goals are designed to be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. This is a proven method for defining your goals and realizing them over time. Remember, even in a scholastic setting, the journey is just as valuable as the outcome. Learning how to achieve goals in healthy, balanced ways can lead to success in other areas of life as well.

  2. Getting Organized

    Organization is a simple but effective strategy for reducing stress and setting priorities. When you’re feeling overwhelmed about all the responsibilities and tasks in front of you, breaking them down into smaller, more manageable groups can make a difference.

    Organization is a helpful technique because it empowers you and gives you back your sense of control. Ideally, this means that, rather than feeling a general desire for perfectionism, you can focus on specific tasks that need to be done. However, you should keep in mind that organization is only helpful when you have done the groundwork of setting reasonable goals and expectations for yourself first.

  3. Taking Care of Yourself

    You may have noticed that self-care is a common theme for us. That’s because it’s an essential practice for achieving overall well-being. When high expectations threaten to take control of your narrative, we recommend quieting those internal critics by practicing mindfulness, writing in a gratitude journal, going on a run, or spending time outdoors. These kinds of self-care activities can help you feel better and more grounded in the day.

    Remember that it’s normal to feel overwhelmed and stressed about school from time to time, but you don’t have to simply sit in those feelings until they pass. Take an active approach to your wellness by taking care of your physical, spiritual, and mental health.

  4. Celebrating Your Wins

    Celebrating your wins could fall under the category of self-care, but it’s important enough that we gave it a header of its own. Once you’ve set your realistic goals and worked hard to achieve them, give yourself some time to celebrate your success.

    This will give you a much-needed break from the relentless drive to succeed, but it will also boost your motivation and momentum moving forward. Taking time to consider the good things you’ve done will give you greater confidence in your ability to tackle bigger goals and obstacles down the road.

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