How Can Parents Best Support a Child After Sexual Abuse?

Every young person is different - but research into the views of young people has found some common themes. You may already be doing these things, and want to think about how these will work for your child, as you know them best.

• Be warm and empathetic towards your child, recognise that they may have complex feelings about what’s happened, but try not to guess or assume what they are.
• Have a meaningful conversation, ask about their feelings, with space to talk about anything that may be on their mind about the situation.
• Avoid questions that might feel intrusive or put pressure on them about ‘what happened’. Focus on understanding how they are feeling now and what they might like from you.
• Think about your own feelings first, before having these conversations. It might be useful to talk to someone else to help you process your own emotions. 
• Recognise your feelings and think about which are helpful to share with your child and which may not be. It might be helpful for your child to see some of how you’re feeling, but it's important not to leave them feeling anxious or weighed down by your emotions.
• Young people often worry about the ‘stigma’ of having been abused. Avoid treating your child as if they are different in any way because of it.
• Do take time to notice the strengths they have used to manage or cope with the abuse.
• If there are signs that they are struggling, don’t be afraid of asking about how they are doing and seeking further support.
• Think about whether the abuse has definitely stopped. (Often abuse continues even after a child has told someone about it.) If you have any doubts, explore these with your child and other relevant people.
• Think about whether there are any things you can do to keep your child safer from further sexual abuse (by the same abuser or another) – while also holding in mind your child’s other needs, such as for growing independence.