The holiday season is meant to be a time of joy. So why do a staggering number of U.S. adults–as many as nine in ten, according to the American Psychological Association–feel more stress than usual at this time of year?

There are many factors that contribute. Sometimes it’s financial concerns, other times it’s unmet expectations, grief or loss, or even family conflict. For many, it’s all of the above. While these challenges can make the season hard for anybody, they’re especially overwhelming for those who also struggle with social anxiety.

People with social anxiety have a persistent and intense fear of social situations. Unlike being shy or reserved, social anxiety has the power to disrupt a person’s personal, work, and social life.

If you suffer from social anxiety, you may be feeling understandably overwhelmed at the thought of navigating the holiday season. NPS is here for you. Together, we can discover techniques and treatments that will allow you to endure, and even enjoy, this phase of life.

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Reframe Your Expectations

A lot of us idealize the holiday season. We lean into nostalgia and tradition, only to feel upset when our expectations aren’t met. Combat these harmful instincts by taking a moment, early on in the season, to reframe and reset your expectations for the next few weeks. Identify your priorities and let go of the obligations that don’t really serve you.

Another critical aspect of reframing your expectations? Understanding that you aren’t responsible for the unmet expectations of other people. You don’t have to be the perfect hostess or please every person. Focus on what really matters and trust the people you love to do the same.

Make a Pact with a Friend

Is there someone in your life who is outgoing and makes you feel safe? Talk to that person about your anxiety and ask if they would be willing to accompany you to some of the holiday events you are most nervous about.

Taking a friend or family member along with you takes a lot of the pressure off you and reduces the anxiety you have about being alone. This technique helps you improve your mindset for future gatherings as well. Every time you have a positive social experience, you confront your social anxiety and get closer to overcoming it altogether.

Prepare Some Talking Points

It can help put your mind at ease if, before social gatherings, you draw up a list of talking points to fall back on. That way, you’ll have something to fill the silence and avoid any potential awkwardness.

You can share an interesting story or experience. Or, think about a movie, television show, or book you may want to talk about. To reduce pressure on yourself, stick to light and easy-to-talk-about subjects.

Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a proven way to manage and reduce anxiety. We especially recommend it to anyone feeling nervous about the holidays.

There are a lot of mindfulness techniques to choose from. You can attempt any of them at home before a social event or even in the moment. Here’s what our anxiety specialists recommend:

Three-Minute Breathing

This technique is quick and straightforward. Focus on your breathing for three whole minutes. Use the first minute to notice your surroundings and consider how you are feeling. Use the second minute to pay attention to how your breath feels in your lungs. Finish by considering how breathing affects the rest of your body. By the time the three minutes are up, you should feel more grounded and relaxed.

Gratitude

When you’re feeling anxious, pause and take a moment to consider your surroundings. Try to find three things you can see that you’re grateful for. It could be a loved one, the food you’re eating, the scenery, or anything that comes to mind.

Five Senses Practice

Another way to ground yourself in a stressful moment is to tune into all five of your senses. What do you see, hear, smell, taste, or feel? Paying attention to those senses will help you shift focus away from your anxious or panicked thinking.

The goal of mindfulness is to help you break the cycle of anxiety and ground yourself in the present moment. The more you practice these techniques, the better you will become at regulating your emotions.

Maintain Your Routine

One thing you can do before holiday events even begin is to commit to maintaining your regular routine. When your regular comforts are disrupted, you’ll feel an increase in anxiety. Stick to the activities that help you feel normal, safe, and grounded. This may require you to occasionally say “no” to invitations to get together. Remember, it’s okay and healthy to know your limits.

Avoid Excessive Alcohol Use

Unfortunately, alcohol use can amplify anxiety and make symptoms worse. Many people with social anxiety think a glass or two of wine will help them loosen up or take the edge off. The truth is, alcohol also makes you feel less in control, which can trigger anxiety and even lead to panic attacks.

Schedule an Appointment with Your Counselor

One of the best ways to manage social anxiety is to schedule regular meetings with your counselor. A specialist from NPS can help you develop and use the techniques we mentioned. We can also provide you with a safe space to talk through concerns and strengthen other coping skills.

Our team uses evidence-based therapies like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to disrupt negative thoughts and restructure cognitive pathways. If you’re looking for compassion and guidance, we’re here for you. Call today to speak with a counselor. Our number is (815) 477-4727.